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It’s like rain on your wedding day… Not ironic, just annoying.

25 Jul

So having taken the plunge and set up my blog I ought to write something, right? I must confess I have spent more time worrying about colour schemes and whether to start up another blog to write about music, or politics, or computer games than thinking about Spurs related blogging subjects. However, my mood has taken a decisive turn, it’s time to up my game and write something. It’s also time to stop faffing around, writing about myself. I’m in a slightly irritable mood though, so maybe that will reflect in today’s piece which is mainly surrounds…

THINGS WHICH IRRITATE ME ABOUT TOTTENHAM RIGHT NOW

So many of these things have been discussed to death in forums up and down the Internets, but I have started a blog, which means you definitely need to hear everything I have to say about the matters on my mind.

If you want the gist, read the bold headings, a bit like reading The Sun, but with less random bold words highlighting excessive adjectives in the middle of paragraphs which are actually, mainly, bullshit. But if you want the meat, you’ll have to read it properly like everyone else.

  1. Please can we sign someone?
    By that, I don’t mean a 40 year old follically challenged American goalkeeper (too specific?). I mean a decent striker, one who scores the goals, or a defender who has the normal number of limbs (or at least ones which work without blowing up after each game). To be honest, I don’t want us to sign just anyone, I want us to sign someone better than what we have. I appreciate how hard it is for Danny and ‘Arry to find players who are better and who fit into our wage structure. The main reason for this is our existing players are already paid the bare minimum. So, what we are basically saying here is, a player like, say, Aaron Lennon is probably earning something like £40k per week. Yet he could probably earn at least £60k maybe even £80k (had he moved at his peak a couple of years ago) at another club. What we’re trying to do is sign players who are better than him and earning that sort of money somewhere else and fit them into the same pay bracket? Get real.As ever, this window, so many names have been mentioned and individuals who had never previously heard of Mirko Vucinic or seen Giuseppe Rossi since his United days salivate at the idea of these exotic names donning the lilywhite with pride, and kissing the cock and single ball which gloriously sits in the near vicinity of their left nipple on matchday. (I do love our badge really!) There are of course many who know plenty about both and for what it’s worth, I happen to rate them both. But let me tell you now, neither is the next Fernando Torres, nor the next Jurgen Klinsmann. They are good, yes, but no better than Defoe, Keane or Berbatov were in their original stints at the club, as far as I can tell. We’ve had one too many Rebrov and Postiga for me to get excited until they genuinely start banging them in for us.Oh and since I mentioned Brad Friedel, the man once randomly stared at me out of his car window. I mean, I was in London, on a side street about 7 years ago, wasting time before a big job interview, near Hyde Park Corner. He goes driving past and I barely glanced, I’m not even sure I clocked who it was, but he actually slows down, peers out back towards me, scowls a little and then just carried on. Now I appreciate that isn’t the most exciting anecdote, but since it happened I’ve always thought he’s a bit odd and I don’t like him. So if anyone ever questions why I give him unwarranted grief, in the unlikely event he wrests the number one jersey from Gomes, I will point you back here.Anyway, the point remains. Give me a signing Henry, open your chequebook Daniel, just one really good one will do.

    No. I do not mean Scott Parker.

  2. What in god’s name is going on with the stadium?
    The number of irons in the various fires doesn’t seem to have diminished over time, which is odd. We started out by going through the normal process of identifying a number of options and narrowing down to a preferred option. I’m not going to go through the whole story again, but we are now in a very strange situation where we are now up to 3 different options, all of which we have been told aren’t possible, but none of which have been ruled out by the club. Very odd to say the least. This will probably be a subject for a post, or many posts, but the state of play is as follows: –The Olympic Stadium Option.Why can’t it happen? Well, we tried to get a judicial review, we were told by a judge that we were being ridiculous, there is no scope for a challenge and to drop it before we look like a child who didn’t get his way.

    But?
     The club have persisted, renewed their application for a judicial review and are hoping to get… something . Wait, what are we trying to get? My impression was that we are trying to get the decision reversed and the stadium given to us. Hence the delay on the World Championship bid. But, it has been suggested we’re simply after cash. Well not only would that be unprecedented, but unlikely to wash in today’s economic climate. I am told by David Lammy’s office, they estimate the bill to THFC thus far (on legal related to OS challenge) to be £15m. I don’t know how accurate this is as it’s not my area, but it’s a lot of money.The Northumberland Development Project (NDP) Option.

    Now, if you’ve read my last post, you’ll know that little things like spelling get on my wick. Let me tell you now, this project is called the NDP, NOT the NPD, there is no ‘Park’ in the name. If anyone calls it that I will assume they are so mis-informed they don’t even know the name of the thing and that any opinion after that will be null and void, because they aren’t informed about that either.

    Good.

    Why can’t it happen? Well to be honest this is a bit more ‘up in the air’. Maybe it can, maybe it can’t, it seems the club aren’t really sure right now. A year or two ago, not only was it viable, but it was a bit cheaper than they expected as raw materials were cheaper and it wouldn’t even impact on our transfer budget! Well blow me down if a couple of months after bidding for the Olympic Stadium, on the day the NDP received planning permission no less, we are suddenly told that the NDP is no longer viable. Much posturing occurred in between with statements nudging us fans towards Stratford and trying to convince us that it was not only something we could do, but the best option! Today we are left with the NDP as the only option unless something more fantastical than a Tolkien novel occurs in court. But the money situation hasn’t changed.

    But?
     It could change. Apparently. Well, kindof anyway. Some of you may be aware it’s illegal for the government to provide money to a private enterprise. However, Spurs want some and the suggestion is it can be obtained from the regional development agency, it amounts to £75m and it will be used to fund projects in the local area. Well, if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure how this affects the viability of the Stadium for Spurs from a commercial perspective, but everyone seems to be glossing over that fact, because it doesn’t seem to help anyone’s argument. If Spurs getting that money means the stadium will happen in N17 I am 100% in favour. In fact I am 100% in favour regardless. Tottenham needs a vast amount of money to start re-generation and that £75m can genuinely make a difference. So let’s get behind it.

    Another site entirely.

    Why can’t it happen?
    I have had the privilege of meeting Daniel Levy as a part of my recent Spurs related activities. When I met him, he informed us (whether to try and sway us towards Stratford or not), that there literally was not one other possible site for the stadium that is any closer to N17 than Stratford. Well I am not sure if that’s really true, but despite suggestion and insinuation from the club that we may have to go elsewhere, he definitely said, that there was no other option.

    But?
    Times change, but we will have to see of course.

  3. Luka Fucking Modric
    Just shut up and get on with it you bloody rasclart. We’ll probably sell you in a year, but you literally only signed that contract a year ago and in April you said the team wouldn’t break up. You made your bed, now sleep in it. Now I have no doubt there is an agent involved here. Indeed Luka’s agent has just 2 big clients (Modric and Corluka), no prizes for guessing how he thinks he can line his pockets then. I blame the agent and I blame Abramovic. (Although I do think, had he not messed around and come in with £40m we’d have sold, as Levy wouldn’t have made any promises at that stage.)

That pretty much covers it. Nothing new, nothing which most of you don’t already think, but there we go, we’ve all gotta start somewhere. Check back next time for more aimless ramblings… or a structured and well considered debate on a hot topic of the day. Probably the first thing though.

1,677 words by the way, in case you were wondering exactly how much crap you’ve had to sit through this time.

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Oh look, a new Spurs blog, we don’t have enough of those already…

21 Jul

I only get one shot at a first post, so it’s important… On the other hand, it will probably only be read by my mum and my dog, and maybe a teenager aimlessly searching for porn browsing the internet with little else to do. As I write this my page is pink with polka dots in another shade of pink. It’s not really the ‘impression’ I’m looking to give and hopefully, by the time you read this, the traditional blue and white approach will be adopted. But if you find this post early, before I’ve worked out how to get this page looking right, then promise not to judge me on it. It’s just that I am too thick/lazy to have changed it yet.

It’s probably important to set the scene here, in terms of why I have decided to add my own voice to the throng of ‘blog artists’ already shoving opinions directly into your face-holes. I mean, the title says it all, particularly if you have even a vague idea of the nature of sarcasm.

Let me be honest then, and please hear me out, because I am going somewhere with this…

  1. I am writing a blog because I have a high opinion of myself and my opinions.
    I’m not being arrogant and I’m genuinely not trying to sound like a twat. (Rude words in the first post, that sets a worrying precedent!) I am telling you this because I am trying to be as honest and self aware as possible and I think that’s a good trait to have, particularly if you are going to try and offer opinions on a subject. In fact, I think every blogger has an unusually high opinion of themselves or their own opinion, because generally for no personal financial gain they write on a regular basis about a subject, or subjects of choice. They actively want people to be aware of their opinions. Some might say they are trying to stimulate debate, but lets all be honest with ourselves, any blogger who blogs opinions (as opposed to keeping a public diary) probably thinks they are more special in some way. They aren’t. I most certainly do not have ‘better’ opinions either, not that it stops me thinking I do. I think the good bloggers are those that recognise this and they manage to keep that from being a bad thing. However, I’m rambling now, so on to…
     
  2. I generally don’t read any other blogs.
    I read them if they are written by someone I like or if I tend to agree with the overall theme, but even then it is infrequent. I think a lot of bloggers do read other blogs, some even take inspiration, whether that is to echo or argue against another’s sentiment. To be honest though, I hate most blogs I read. Most are full of inaccuracies flawed reasoning and, my biggest bugbear, spelling mistakes. I do frequent forums, which are the worst for it, but there are nuggets of gold there which make it all worthwhile. It is actually the fact I write so often on forums which has made me decide to blog, because when you have that much to say, why not say it?! I have rambled again. I am telling you all this because I still want to be honest and I want everyone to know I am well aware it’s rather hypocritical to proffer my own opinion without considering anyone elses.
     
  3. My blog will not be regular, nor can I promise it will be frequent.
    I may blog twice a day, every day from now until I am 70, I may blog once a week only when I have a burning need to talk about something, but for all my best intentions…
     
  4. I have tried to blog before and failed.
    I have very little staying power unless the subject is one which I am passionate about. Which is why I’ve opted for Spurs as a subject this time (instead of my own often dreary life!). You’ve been warned though, if you like it, let me know, because that’s about all that will motivate me when the initial enthusiasm for blogging takes an inevitable dip.
     
  5. Spurs are effectively my life.
    So if you’ve read this far, you probably deserve to hear something positive about me/my blog, or indeed some kind of justification for why I’ve taken the plunge. I bloody love Spurs. They piss me off constantly, they let me down and stitch me up financially, but for 90 minutes on a Saturday (or whenever Sky happens to want us to play) the whole entire world ceases to exist. Being a part of We Are N17 (that confession may divide opinion!) has really stoked my enthusiasm for doing more than just screaming at a group of overpaid men with exotic names wearing an extremely fetching white and blue outfit.
     
  6. I quite like the idea of being a writer.
    Not much else I can say here. In the world of new media, this is effectively my ‘column’. I did get 200 words in the Independent, edited though they were, it’s something which I will be eternally proud of!
     
  7. I have a terrible habit of making changes more than once after a post has been published.
    It’s a bad hangover from writing on forums, in fact I am doing it right now by adding this point. I should really keep a draft until I am ready and then once posted keep that blog ‘as is’, but sod it, that’s my style and with any luck I’ll get better at posting everything I want to say the first time around!
     
  8. Finally I want to make you the following promises, none of which are binding, but all with the best of intentions.
    – I will not post news stories on this blog unless I am genuinely breaking a previously unpublished news story, which I never expect to happen. There are enough news sources already constantly churning out the same crap and rare nuggets of truth.
    – Nor will I post ‘hilarious’ fake or joke news stories. THEY AREN’T FUNNY!
    – I will not post anything purely with the intention of stirring opinion or attracting readers. TalkSport make a living out of this, I don’t need to. Every opinion shared will be one which I hold at the time of writing, although they are subject to change.
    – I will respond to genuine queries and questions whenever possible. If I ever don’t please let me know I haven’t so I can punish myself accordingly.
    – I will add to these promises as and when I think of new ones I want to make!

1,283 words for my first post (as at my last edit!). I feel like that’s quite good! But in reality, if you’ve managed to read all that I love you already, whether you like it or not. If you do like the post though, or the whole blog, or even one sentence I love you literally forever, I’ll probably do babies with you even. As long as you don’t try to make me pay for their upkeep. Because I have no money.

So there you go. My first effort and not one opinion about Spurs. I promise that will be the first and last time that happens (well, at least I’ll try. Twitter will get the brunt of my daily chatter about not very much). But, now you know what I’m about, hopefully you’ll feel like you now have all you need to not only throw abuse at me, but to really get me where it hurts. 🙂

Enjoy the ramblings which may or may not begin to populate this page and hopefully I’ll see you again some time.

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